Throughout my life I have gone through periods of being in a funk. There isn’t always reason to the feeling other than its there and I have to live with it and I know that for the people in my life it has been difficult to understand. I recently saw a commercial for Excedrin Migraine that allowed you to visually see and experience the how miserable and debilitating a migraine could be.
I thought that this campaign was brilliant. You couldn’t feel the actual pain but it gave loved ones an opportunity to experience a glimpse of the struggle first hand. It made me wish I could slap a pair of virtual goggles on the world with my funk filter and perhaps you would be able to see life through my lens. But, I don’t have the budget or ability to do so. But, I do have this place. This little tiny spot on the spectrum of the internet that for some reason so many of you visit. I have long hoped that this place would be a place where I could be completely transparent. Whether it has been my infertility, my marital struggles, my anxiety, my crafts, my travel and experiences….you have stuck around. So this seemed like the most fitting place for to me give you a glimpse at what a “funk” feels like and how you can help others maybe experiencing one.
I know that the world doesn’t stop when I am struggling. But, I wish it would. A few months ago I was on a hike with my family and within our initial ascent up the Laurel Falls hike I felt panic and I couldn’t catch my breath. My family was easily a quarter mile up the mountain ahead of me and many people were passing me in both directions and as each person went by me I would hold my breath and try and force a smile and nod. Praying they would go by quickly so that I could go back to hyperventilating and get it over with I just kept giving myself the pep talk of you can do this, you can do anything for the next 10 seconds, over and over. Eventually, the feeling passed and I was able to catch up to my family at the waterfall but at that point they were done. They had enjoyed the scenery and were ready to go back down. This feeling was all to familiar. I get myself to the place that I am pushing towards but the early bird gets the worm and I feel like that mental push was in vain. Every fiber of my being wants to experience life with you but I feel like I am in a nauseating game of catch up.
The truth is that I know I am not alone.
I am not the only one who struggles.
I know I am not the only mom who cries in the shower.
I am not the alone in feeling like I need to do better.
I am not alone in feeling like I am drowning trying to be everything to everyone.
So, the world doesn’t stop when I am struggling. But, I can stop for you. But, you have to tell me. You have to be willing to let down the guard to social media perfection and be willing to say I don’t have it all together.
It’s ok to not feel like you have it all together and not feel judged. I know that in order for me personally to move past junk in my life I have to come to terms that it exists. Hiding in the shadows of my sorrow only perpetuates what I am desperate to overcome.
So, when you have a friend who doesn’t seem like themselves, ask them. We don’t want to the person that drains you emotionally. It’s most likely why we are avoiding you. But, just saying I have had those seasons too goes a long way to decreasing the stigma that comes along with saying I am in an emotional rut.
Here are 4 tips to engage a friend who is an emotional rut.